You won’t know what to do with free time if you actually get some. Once you finally breathe a little air after the newborn stage and you are comfortable enough to leave your baby with someone else and get out and do things, free time becomes more of a chore, at least that’s how I feel. I don’t remember what I used to do with my Saturday mornings or evenings after work before I had kids. Now, if I do get an hour to myself, I feel completely lost. I don’t know what to do with myself. In all honesty, I’d probably rather be sleeping, or watching crappy TV, or drive around in the car listening to music I actually want to listen to. But I always feel like I should be doing something, and that’s a lot of pressure! I’ve realized that when I do have those moments, it’s totally okay to do nothing and enjoy it. Because, seriously, I never get to do nothing.
If you weren’t money-concious before, having babies will make you want to become aware of every cent you earn and spend. I’ve become obsessed with our finances, and David gets so annoyed! Ha! But I’ve realized that the decisions we make today will affect Finn and Reese’s future tremendously. I want to feel secure, aware, knowledgeable and in charge of our finances. I want to know that they will never have to take out school loans. I want to be able to buy them a car on their 16th birthday. I want to give them a life full of adventure and we cannot do that without being intentional with our money.
Your hormones will drive you nutty for years. I’m 10 months postpartum right now and, although that seems like a long time, I still have to remind myself that hormones essentially rule my life. I’m still breastfeeding, which makes your hormones go wacky. Plus, growing and giving birth to a baby is no small feat. It tooks me a good two years to feel back to “normal” after Finn, and then I got pregnant again. It’s nothing crazy, just a lot of PMS symptoms – moodiness and irratability – but I know it’s hormones because, strangely, I can feel it in my lower stomach, as if my uterus is still pumping hormones out on the daily. Don’t anyone ever tell you that being a woman ain’t fun!
You gain an entirely new level of pride. I think every parent can relate to this. When I heard Finn’s first word, when Reese finally figured out how to scoot across the floor. When Finn makes new friends on the playground or asks if someone is ok. When Reese smiles. Gosh, there is no better feeling than watching your little people become little people.
You stop giving a shit about what other people think. FINALLY! You cant stop caring about the opinions of others! But really, there’s something about motherhood that just gives you the confidence you’ve always needed. It was as if I used to just wish I could do things, and once I became a mom, I was like “why the hell not?”.
Your anxiety will go through the roof. You know those moments of free time that you don’t know what to do with? Well, you’ll likely just worry the entire time about your kids anyways. We’ve gone away a handful of times since Finn was born, and each time I had to actively try to not be anxious about leaving him behind. Just remember – they are in good hands. You are not a bad mom for leaving. You miss them more than they miss you.
Mom guilt is crippling. Mom shaming is real. People are mean enough. You don’t have to be your harshest critic. You will second guess every decision, but remember that God gave you you’re children because He knew that you would be the best mama to them. You deserve a day off or some time alone, because at the end of the day that’s what will make you the best mom you can be.
You realize no one really knows what the hell they are doing. Remember when you were little and you thought your parents knew everything? Isn’t it funny to realize that now you’re the parent and you know absolutely nothing?! Yeah, neither does anyone else!
Family becomes even more important. I don’t think I love anything more than watching my mom, dad and sisters with my kids. I love watching David’s family fall in love with Finn and Reese. I love watching the relationships they have with one another. I truly couldn’t do this mom thing without my support system, and I’m so beyond grateful for each one of them.
Life gets good. Really good. You thought life was good before? Ha! There’s truly nothing greater than watching your kids grow up, watching them bond as siblings, watching your husband become a dad. I’ve never been so content, my heart has never been so full. Life is crazy every single day, and I truly love every little bit.