The Intrigue of Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

finn-18-months

Being a woman in the workforce is tough. I feel fortunate that I am a part of a generation where it was never a question – I could freely go to college and allow my qualifications to help get me a great job. As much as that was a given, I try my best to not take that granted. I appreciate that I can go to work and be valued for my thoughts and ideas, be asked my opinion, be given responsibility, and feel fulfilled. I realize that as recently as my mom’s generation that wasn’t necessarily the case.

But then you start thinking about having a family. That’s the tough part. Bigger brains than mine have discussed this topic at length. It’s a super emotional topic, and something that didn’t hit home until, of course, I was in the midst of starting our family. I don’t want to get into the difficulties of maternity leave, returning to work afterwards, and the work-life balance that takes a toll on every parent, but just know that I have thoughts – a lot of thoughts – about how ridiculous the current situations are.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was adament about being a working mom. Long before Finn was even a thought, I told anyone who would listen that I didn’t spend over five years in college and grad school to work for a few years and then quit my career. Even after Finn was born, I looked forward to going back to work and feeling like an adult. I craved constructive conversation and problem solving. I needed to be needed for more than just survival.

However, recently, I’ve given more and more thought to the idea of being a stay-at-home mom. The idea of being able to spend more time with Finn – to be the one teaching him nursery rhymes, to take him to the park, to go grocery shopping in the middle of a week – those thoughts put a smile on my face. Right now, we are living for the weekends. We try to cram it all into two days, and that’s an exhausting way to live.

After work, I’m hardly my best self. Finn gets two hours with Mom and Dad before bedtime, and we are both exhausted from a long day at the office. More often than not, I’m looking forward to his bedtime so we can unwind. If for whatever reason we have to be out past seven, we may not even see Finn before he falls asleep. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

Of course, being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t come with it’s own problems. Being a mom is exhausting, period, and at least now I get a break. I am able to cherish those few hours before bedtime and the weekend days because they are are dedicated ‘mom time’. If I were to stay at home full-time, I would probably crave the adult interaction. The grass is always greener, amiright?

These thoughts have been on my heart lately and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. It’s a conversation worth having and I’m intrigued at why and how other moms in similar situations made that decision. I’m not ready to give up my job. just yet, but I’m wondering if there is a sort-of hybrid option that would allow for more Finn time and not having to fully sacrifice my career. It’s definitely got me thinking…

 

Ladies – I’d love to hear your insight on this topic!

 

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4 Comments

  1. I go back to work Wednesday after my 2 months of maternity leave. And I’m dreading it more than I did with my now 5 year old. Idk if I could handle being a full time stay-at-home mom, but if I could even afford to work just part time I would in a heart beat. They’re only little for so long and I want to be a part of as much of it as possible. Unfortunately that’s not in the cards for me right now so I’ll sadly head off to work Wednesday and enjoy the after work and weekends you’re enjoying now as well❤

    1. ugh! I feel for you! i hope you have a supportive work environment that understands that it’s such an emotional thing! i know what you mean about being a full time SAHM. I think I may go crazy! But just the flexibility to be able to spend more time at home would go a long way! I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow 🙂

  2. This topic has been on my heart and mind lately as well! Here’s my thinking…
    Do I devote time to the things that make me the happiest? That’s what we need to focus on right? The things that make and keep us fulfilled and happy.
    Well, what makes me the happiest is: spending quality time with family, self-care (particularly because I live with an autoimmune disease), and being a productive member of something greater than myself.
    So the answer to my first question is yes, I do devote time to the things that make me happiest; I spend as much time with family as possible (saying no to extra commitments when I need to), I make sure there are blocks of time for self care so that I’m at my best (exercise, doctor appointments, quiet/stress relief times), and I am part of something greater than myself (I’m a special education teacher and run my own business).
    I think it is very valuable to deeply think about your values and priorities and then think about the way that you spend your time, right down to every hour of every day. Then really think about are you spending time with what is most important to you? If the answer is no, then maybe a change, at least a small one, is necessary. If the answer is yes, then you are probably feeling fulfilled.
    I would love to know your thoughts on this! 🙂

    1. i think you’re onto something with this! considering what makes me happy is becoming a priority in my decision making as i get older. i don’t want to feel obligated to do things, because it breeds resentment. i think the ability to feel fulfilled in your day job goes a long way, and maybe that’s where i’m struggling. i appreciate your thoughts on these things, tho! it’s helpful to know that other mamas feel similarly 🙂

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