What My Day Looks Like As A Work At Home Mom

work at home mom

I’m currently writing this from a coffee shop. I’m alone. This is just one of the five or six times in the past six and a half months that I have been alone. Since Reese refuses a bottle (and to be honest I haven’t even tried to give her one in about two months) she comes everywhere with me. Business meetings. Workouts. Grocery shopping. We are basically two peas in a pod.

This morning I had a meeting and my in-laws have both the kids. I expect they will text me soon letting me know that Reese has woken up and I’ll head over to their house, nurse my babe, and continue on with my day.

Today is an exception. Most days I don’t get this break.

I have connected with a lot of work at home moms in the past few months. It’s a unique situation to be in. I guess, technically, I’m a stay at home mom, but I’m also a working mom. I’m grateful for technology to be able to do this.

Most days I wake up around 6am with David. If I’m lucky, Reese is still asleep and I get to enjoy a cup of coffee in bed while chatting with my husband. Some days she wakes up and joins us.

By 7am, Finn is awake. David goes to the gym some mornings, so I’ll take Finn into school and then go for a long walk with Reese. We will listen to audiobooks or podcasts and I usually get super motivated and clear minded on these walks.

If David doesn’t go to the gym, he takes Finn to school and I get right to work. On Fridays, and every other Wednesday, Finn is home with me!

I try to start my day with a shower. I was skipping this simple step for a while, but I found that I was more productive when I got myself up and dressed. This usually happens during Reese’s first nap.

Then I get to work. I answer emails, write blog posts, work through other stuff until Reese wakes up. I feed her and we play for a while. When Reese is awake, I like to spend quality time with her. The work goes away and I’m present with her.

When she goes back down for a nap, I get to work again. Whatever needs to get done, gets done. She usually naps for about 1.5-2 hours, so it’s a good chunk of time, but I rarely feel like I’ve done enough.

After her second nap, she is usually up until bedtime, so there’s about a 3.5 hour span of keeping her happy and content. Sometimes she will swing or play quietly and I’ll be able to finish up a few things.

work at home mom

David and Finn get home around 5pm and this is when the crazy starts. We cram dinner and baths in all during the witching hour – when Reese and Finn are the most cranky! It’s hectic and it’s usually non-stop until 6:30pm when Reese goes to bed for the night.

Finn stays up until 7:30-8pm. We let him watch a little television and we spend one-on-one time with him. After he goes to sleep, my computer usually comes back out again for a few hours. Other days, David and I watch a show or chat and get our quality time in.

I dream feed Reese around 9:30pm, and then try to be in bed by 10pm. I don’t get much downtime anymore, but this schedule has been working for us. I love the flexibility of being able to do work when I feel most productive, which often times isn’t between the hours of 9 and 5. I also love that I have the flexibility to work out or to go grocery shopping or even take a nap if I need one!

I’m essentially doing two jobs at once these days, and my heart is so full because of that! I feel like I have the balance I craved when I working in an office.

Are you a work at home mom? How do you structure your days?

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Our Experience With Potty Training

potty training

Head’s up: I’m not writing this post to brag or to tell everyone the way to potty train their kid. I’m writing this because while we were potty training Finn, I found myself reading other people’s experiences to see what would work for us! I want to share how we potty trained so that it might help someone else or give ideas to another family on different ways to tackle this!

Finn is the best kid. Since he was a baby, he took big transitions in stride – he took a bottle easily. He switched over to a sippy cup easily. He even transitioned himself out of the crib without a fuss! We have basically been on cruise control with him. We knew potty training was going to be the next big transition, and even though he adjusted to everything so well in the past, potty training scared the crap out of me. (Pun intended).

There were several variables here – first, Reese was new to our family, so although I wanted to get him potty trained before she was born, I also feared that he would regress as soon as she arrived. Plus, I couldn’t quite muster up the energy while I was pregnant. Second, he was going to daycare full-time, and although we would take our own approach, his teachers also would need to be in on it, so I needed their support.

We started off slowly. Finn was home with Reese and I for the month of December. He was about 2.5 years old at this point. I took this opportunity to introduce the toilet to him and put underwear on him whenever we were at home. This, you can imagine, resulted in a lot of laundry. But I figured since we were all at home, it was worth it. We had him pick out the underwear he wanted and that helped him get excited about wearing them.

In those first few weeks of trying, Finn showed little interest. I knew from some research that if he wasn’t interested, there was no point in pushing it. Fast forward a few months, and we started asking more and more about going pee on the potty. Sometimes he would oblige, other times he wouldn’t. Still, we kept the mindset that he would do it when he was ready.

In early April, Finn had a few days off from daycare. I decided to use that time to really push the issue. He was ready. He was talking about it, and there were less and less accidents. So for three days I didn’t put a diaper on him (besides nap time and bed time) and besides one incident early in the first day, he went on the toilet every time! We didn’t leave the house much those three days, and when we did, he wore a pull-up.

I made a Potty Chart and hung it on the wall near his bathroom. The chart had a column for “Tried“, “Pee” and “Poop“. Each time he tried or successfully went, he got a sticker. This kept it exciting for him!

The bad news? He didn’t go number two for three days! I knew he had to go, but I also knew it was a brand new experience. Again, I didn’t want to pressure him, so I would just bring it up every now and then.

I knew going number two was going to be tough, so before we started potty training, we asked him what he wanted if he went poop on the potty. He told us he wanted a toy lion and toy hippo. So, we kept reminding him that if he went poop on the potty, that’s exactly what he would get.

He sat on the potty several times before it actually happened. I credit my in-laws for the first poop. He was at their house and they noticed he was starting to go, so they moved him onto the toilet halfway. Later that night he went on the potty at home, and since then, there have been zero poopy accidents! We took him to get his lion and hippo later that week!

Initially, we still kept pull-ups on him when he went to daycare. This lasted about a month or so and he would come home wet. So we finally sent him in underwear, and a few extra pairs just in case, and he’s been doing great!

A couple notes:

  • Finn was almost three when we really gave it the ole college try!
  • He still has accidents every now and then, and we constantly have to ask him if he has to go, but they are getting fewer and farther between
  • He still wears a pull-up to bed and for nap time, although the last few nights he has been waking up and calling for us to let us know he has to go! (He has a rail on his bed so he can’t get out himself.)
  • Like any little boy, he prefers to pee outside.
  • We did buy him a potty seat, but he doesn’t like to use it much.
  • When we are out in public, I usually just hold him over the toilet and let him go rather than having him touch all over the seat himself. Yuck.

Mamas – how was your experience potty training? Any funny stories?

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Why Dreaming Big and Feeling Content Are Not Mutually Exclusive

dreaming big

I distinctly remember a moment last summer that puts everything into perspective for me. I had just gotten back from a week’s vacation, and instead of swimming in the lake with Finn and David and the rest of my family, I was sitting in a meeting room – one without any windows – listening to everyone else’s to-do list for the week, trying my best to look interested. (I don’t think I pulled that off very well.)

I went back to my desk and tried my hardest to hold back the tears that would inevitably come. I had just come back from vacation! Shouldn’t I feel refreshed and recharged?

I got scolded later that day for not being a team player. Because everyone else had been working the previous week, I should feel grateful to them. I understood the point, but it didn’t matter. It’s not that I didn’t feel grateful, it’s that I felt nothing. I wanted to care more, but I didn’t. And that made me feel worse!

That day at my office was the lowest I had ever been. I blame some of it on pregnancy, but most of it was based on the feeling of wanting more! More time with my family, more purpose in my work, more flexibility.

I had never felt more misunderstood and more alone. I had a great job, I was well-respected there, I made good money… and I didn’t want any of it. Do you know how guilty that made me feel? I often thought about how I should lower my expectations, how people who don’t dream big are happier because they are content with what they have.

It took me almost a year to really understand that “dreaming big” and “being content” are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I would argue that without one, the other is impossible.

A year later, I am working my butt off to start a business, while simultaneously taking care of a six month old. I also have my three year old home with me one or two days a week, and my poor husband gets whatever is left of me. I work early in the morning and late at night. I have had to step outside my comfort zone on a daily basis. Sometimes I don’t shower, I go days without talking to adults besides David, and I spend more time thinking about what I’m doing rather than doing it!

And it’s in this mess that I’ve found true contentment.

I have big dreams – bigger dreams than I talk about on here or Instagram or even with my closest friends and family. But because I allow myself to dream, and most importantly to work towards those dreams, I have found contentment in my life.

It’s quite simple, really. When you remove negativity and you take control of your time, the days seem less hectic. You start to think about where you are going to be six months or a year from now. You start thinking of the little things you can do today that will get you there. You stop resenting the people around you and you find beauty in the little things. You take better care of your body, you pay attention to your finances, you start happening to your life rather than just letting life happen to you. You become content with the person you are.

I don’t suggest that everyone go quit their job in order to become content, but I do recommend allowing yourself to dream. A year ago, I was dreaming of being a business owner, spending time with my babies, and really going after something that I had thought about for years. Now, that’s my reality. That day in the office really shined a light on how little I was doing to make my life what I wanted.

Today, I’m dreaming big about my future and feeling content about my present. What is it in your life that’s going to get you feeling the same way?

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It’s Okay To Admit It’s Hard

The last thing I want to portray on this blog or in any aspect of my life is that I have a perfect life. I don’t! I get stressed out, I lose sleep over silly things, David and I argue, my kids drive me nuts, and I have more student loan debt than I care to admit. Guess that just makes me …. normal.

We’re in this era where a snapshot can seem to define your life. Social media can cause you to feel like you aren’t keeping up or that someone on the internet has a better life than you. And it’s not surprising that folks are suffering with depression and anxiety at higher rates than ever before. 

Initially, this post was going to be about motherhood. About how as a mom, it’s okay to admit that you’re having a tough season, or that you don’t necessarily enjoy the parenting thing. That’s how I felt in the months following Finn’s birth. It was a shock to my system. My life as I knew it was over. And it was hard.

I learned to love my new role over time. However, I still have moments where I want the freedom and the silence and the sleep. I am taking Reese to business meetings, because that’s just my reality. And as thankful as I am that people are happy to accept that she comes everywhere with me, I also wish she didn’t have to come everywhere with me.

I love my life today, and I wouldn’t want it to be any other way, but sometimes it’s just hard. Some days, I wish for bedtime more often than I care to admit. Some days, I scroll aimlessly through my phone instead of paying attention to my kids. Some days, I lose my patience and get upset with Finn over things he doesn’t understand. Some days, I just want to have time with my husband and forget about everything else. Because it’s hard.

Like I said, this post was supposed to be just about motherhood, but I realized as I started writing it that this notion of admitting that things can be difficult goes way beyond parenthood.

Breakups are hard. Like the worst.

Job hunting can be soul sucking. And the rejection is the worst feeling in the world.

Marriage is hard. Spoiler alert – love doesn’t conquer all. Communication does. And sometimes, you can both suck at communicating.

Paying bills is hard. And stressful. And getting old really fast.

The moral of the story is life is hard. And messy. And heartbreaking. And full of struggle. And if you can’t admit that, I promise things are only going to be harder and much lonelier.

The good thing is that all of these difficult seasons have an end to them. It’s not always going to be hard. And when you get past these seasons, you come out with a fresh perspective, and a little bit stronger. And the best part? Having hard times make you appreciate the good times even more!

So, just in case you are struggling with something and sitting there thinking “gosh, this is hard” just remember that it’s okay to feel that way. Give yourself a little grace. Sooner than you realize, things will be less difficult!

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What’s Your Enneagram Type?

If you know me, then you know I love a good personality test. I find the results so interesting, and usually spot-on. I took the Enneagram test a while back and recently re-took it to see if my original results were validated.

Spoiler alert – they were.

What’s an Enneagram?

If you’ve never heard of the Enneagram, it’s essentially a personality test that puts you into one of nine categories based on how you relate to yourself and the world around you:

  1. The Reformer – the rational, idealistic type
  2. The Helper – the caring, interpersonal type
  3. The Achiever – the success-oriented, pragmatic type
  4. The Individualist – the sensitive, withdrawn type
  5. The Investigator – the intense, cerebral type
  6. The Loyalist – the committed, security-oriented type
  7. The Enthusiast – the busy, fun-loving type
  8. The Challenger – the power, dominating type
  9. The Peacemaker – the easy-going, self-effacing type

When you take the test, you are given an Enneagram type – your main type – and then a secondary result, which is called your wing. This dials into your personality even more.

Like any personality test, I think it’s important to note that the explanation can become an easy excuse to validate some of your shortcomings or a way to explain away why you are the way you are. Instead, you should use these results to understand how you work, be aware of what you are good at and what you may struggle with, and also be aware of the other types so you know others strengths and weaknesses as well.

It’s also important to understand the difference between how each type perceives themselves and how others perceive them. For example, an 8 type may come across loud and overbearing to some, but to themselves they may think they are coming across as confident or decisive.

What’s My Type?

The very fact that I love personality tests should give away my Enneagram number.

Any last minute guesses?

I’m a 4 – the individualist.

Do I agree with this? Absolutely.

From The Enneagram Institute:

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious… At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

A four’s basic fear is that they have no identity or personal significance and our basic desire is to find that significance. At our worst, a four can become depressed and melancholy.

Basically, a four sees themselves as unique and different, something I can relate to! The older I get, the more introverted I become, and the more in touch with my emotions I feel. I keep this blog, I write in journals, I listen to music and watch movies just to get all the feels. I can certainly be moody, but when I’m at my best, I am creative and passionate. I am very self-reflective and overly self-aware, almost to a fault, but at the end of the day just wish to live a life full of meaning.

“The Aristocrat”

Technically, my Enneagram is a 4w3 – a four with a three wing. These two types tend to conflict with one another. Four’s are introverted and self-aware while three’s are extroverted and lack self-awareness! However, both ultimately relate to one’s self-esteem. Fours with a three wing are competitive and want to make something of themselves, but usually fear success and possible humiliation.

I can absolutely relate with being “The Aristocrat”. It’s not that I’ve never felt confident, but when I do, I quickly second guess myself. After reading more about this, it certainly validates my feelings about myself, but more than that, it makes me realize that the fact that I’m questioning myself doesn’t have to do with a lack of confidence, but rather an overflow of self-awareness.

If you’re interested with this kind of stuff, I suggest taking the quiz and reading more about your type at The Enneagram Institute. You can also find free Enneagram quizzes across the internet.

Leave a comment below and let me know what type you are and if you agree with it! Why or why not?

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